


Admit Impediments

by Hermaline75



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bad Decisions, Break Up, M/M, Marriage, Reality TV, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-11-29 04:46:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 19,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11433441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hermaline75/pseuds/Hermaline75
Summary: Tonight on Wedding Wars, groom Thor has to take on the task of creating the perfect wedding for his bride, Amora. But can he pull it off? Or will he discover he's just not the man for her?Was inviting his ex to be best man a mistake? Probably.





	1. Save The Date

**Author's Note:**

> This is very silly and will be 13 or maybe 14 chapters long.

At first, Loki assumed it was some kind of a joke. The text in the middle of the day while he was at work. The first in far too long.

_Hey Loki, its Thor, got a big favour to ask you. Pls call me asap_

A favour? Months of nothing and then a favour? Was he kidding?

Loki stared at it for ages, waiting for it to make sense, but it didn't. All he could do was slink his way down to the smoker's shelter - the only place he might be able to get a modicum of privacy - and hit the call button, cursing himself for his weakness at not being able to bear not to know.

"Loki!"

And that voice should not still make his heart glow. They were OK now and the dating and the break-up were ancient history and Thor was not even a particularly good friend to him these days, not when he was so busy seeing his new girlfriend, and so he definitely shouldn't be dropping everything to find out what was going on in his life.

"Hi."

He waited. If Thor wanted something, he could ask.

"How are you?" Thor asked.

"Fine. But I'm at work so if you could tell me what this is about..."

"Oh. Oh, of course. Um... Well, first of all, I'm getting married."

Loki felt his heart skip. What? Married? But he couldn't be...

"Congratulations," he said automatically, completely numb.

"Thanks. But, well... OK, so two things - it's going to be on TV. We've signed up to one of those reality shows. They pay for the whole thing, so it just... It seemed like a good idea. And secondly, I need a best man and I wondered if you'd care to do the honours."

Loki stared at the grubby concrete in front of him, yellowed by the smoke of a hundred colleagues, green moss gamely trying to grow in the crevices, and struggled to breathe.

"You there?"

"I... I thought if you'd have anyone, you'd have Sif. Best woman, you know."

"Well, I would, but Amora wasn't comfortable with me being alone with her."

He sounded sheepish. Good. He ought to. Because while Sif definitely wasn't a threat, Loki was a different story. Or at least someone who'd worry about Sif would definitely worry about him so that was suspicious.

"But she's fine with me? Seriously? After... After everything?"

"She, uh... She doesn't actually know. About that."

Loki blinked at the wall.

What the fuck, Thor?

"She doesn't know," Loki repeated, certain he must have misheard that. "She doesn't know that we dated for three years?"

He could almost see Thor shuffling his feet, awkward, knowing he was in the wrong. Oh, Thor hated being in the wrong. Hated anyone being in the wrong.

"She gets jealous," he said, like that justified things and wasn't a huge red flag. "So I figured what she didn't need to know wouldn't hurt her. And she doesn't have any close friends to be her bridesmaids and Sif's agreed to do that as a favour to me and then I thought 'Who else would I love to have by my side at my wedding?' and, well, you. Obviously."

Obviously.

Well, it seemed far from obvious to Loki. All of it. Thor, married? How could he get married? He always said he'd have to be with someone for at least five years before even considering something like that.

What if he was making a terrible mistake?

Surely then it was Loki's duty to stop him. Or at least make sure he wasn't. As his second-choice best person.

"Loki?"

A sigh.

"When's the happy occasion?"

***

"He's making a terrible mistake."

Since he had a couple of weeks to try to get his head around this - television needing at least some time to set up, apparently - Loki had elected to get back in contact with Sif.

They hadn't always got on. She was Thor's oldest friend and she'd been suspicious of him at first, but they'd developed a sort of grudging respect. But then when they broke up, she'd quietly aligned herself with Thor, for all that she insisted no one was really to blame, as such. She was definitely Thor's friend, not his.

But it seemed she was barely short of being Amora's enemy.

"How do you mean?" Loki asked, pouring himself a glass of wine with the hand not holding his phone.

"Just... They shouldn't be getting married. They're not right for one another. She only wants it to get the box ticked and he's just going along with it because he's too nice to say no and in a year's time they're going to be miserable. Or worse, in ten years' time, with kids mixed up in it too. Everyone thinks so. Even his mum. But he won't listen."

Yeah, that sounded like Thor. Stubborn as the proverbial mule.

"Well, he must see something in her," he said. "I only met her once or twice, just after they got together and she seemed..."

Um...

"She's very pretty," Sif said. "And she's smart, I'll give her that. But they just don't match. Or they don't balance maybe. She's got virtually no sense of humour, as far as I can tell. Imagine Thor being with someone who never jokes. Never laughs. Definitely never makes him laugh."

Thor's laugh had been one of Loki's favourite things about him. He was so open. Laughed with his whole body, shoulders shaking, throwing his head back.

"If he's happy..." he began, trying his best to be reasonable, but Sif cut him off.

"That's exactly the problem," she said. "I don't think he is. I think he _thinks_ he is, because he thinks he ought to be. After all, he's about to marry a smoking hot, ambitious, smart lawyer. Why wouldn't he be happy? Because she's just not right for him!"

Loki got the distinct feeling Sif had been waiting to let this out for a while and he was just the fortunate - or maybe unfortunate - person in the way of the deluge.

"I'm amazed she's comfortable with you being there," she continued. "I mean, she practically bites Thor's head off if he so much as smiles at another woman, even when he's just being polite."

A hefty glug of wine. Oh, she wasn't going to like this...

"Apparently she doesn't know about me. His history with me."

Sure enough, Sif groaned like she'd stubbed her toe and dropped a piece of toast face down at the same time.

"You see!" she said. "He can't even be honest with her about huge parts of his life because he knows she'll use them against him."

"I'm sure she can't be that bad."

"You're not the one who's going to have to spend two weeks with her while she's unable to micromanage Thor's every move. I swear, if she could put a spell on him or mind-control him or something, I bet she would. Sometimes I think she already has."

If he was honest, Loki wasn't exactly relishing the thought of being trapped around Thor for all that time. He'd booked it off work and though he'd said he'd find a hotel, Thor had said that was silly and he should just stay on the futon, save himself the money. So he really wouldn't be able to get away. At least Sif could retreat to her own place.

"What do you propose we do?" he asked. "Any hint of a suggestion that he's making a mistake and Thor will just double down and be even more determined. You know he will."

She sighed.

"He's going to completely screw up the wedding, I know that much. She wants the fairytale, and if Thor wants anything, it's probably the party. You never know. She might leave him at the altar. We can only hope."

Well, if Sif was wishing such trauma on her oldest and dearest friend, things had to be bad.

This wasn't going to be any fun at all.


	2. Filming Begins

Loki hadn't expected the cameras to already be there when he pulled up outside Thor's place, the familiarity stinging like a thorn trapped under his skin.

He'd last been here to pick up what was left of his stuff. Forgotten t-shirts, a book Thor had said he was going to get round to reading soon, underwear, half-used conditioner.

It was like coming back to a graveyard where memories were buried.

But there was Thor, smiling, pulling him into a hug as soon as he was out of the car, whispering thanks in his ear and apologising for the cameras being sprung on him like this. They'd wanted a shot of old friends reunited, they said.

A blur of being introduced to crew members whose names he'd forgotten virtually instantly and he was bundled upstairs to where Sif and Amora and her sister Lorelei were waiting. Dark, blonde, red, like a Disney princess line-up. Though none of them had a pixie cut like Sif's as far as Loki knew.

"Look who's here," Thor grinned, like it was going to be anyone else.

Loki had never been overly fond of cheek kissing people he didn't know, or touching them unnecessarily for that matter, and probably looked like the stiffest of stuffed shirts. At least Sif just said hello and wiped what was probably a smear of lipstick from his cheek.

"OK, so we're going to cut to each of you in turn," the diminutive director said, clipboard in hand and pencil behind her ear. "And if you can all just say who you are and what your role in the wedding is."

"Hi, I'm Thor. I'm the lucky guy."

What was this, weddings anonymous? _Hi, I'm Loki and I've been wedding free for ten years..._

"I'm Amora. I'm the bride."

The camera turned to Loki and he got a nod of encouragement. It didn't help.

"Er... Uh, I'm Loki. Best man. I think."

"I'm Sif, maid of honour."

And that was the first clue that they weren't going to have to manufacture any drama for this particular episode. Nope, the spills would come naturally. Like the flu. Or quicksand.

Lorelei's head whipped to the side, eyes wide.

"She's what?! But I'm your _sister!_ "

"And you're both maid of honour," Amora said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I'm having two."

"You can't have two! That's the whole point. You have _a_ maid of honour, one."

"Happy to be downgraded," Sif said, deadpan. "Seriously, I won't be offended."

It seemed like the most sensible option as far as Loki was concerned, but Amora pouted very prettily and folded her arms and complained about two maids of honour being the _only thing_ in the _whole wedding_ that she wasn't having to leave in the control of the _stupid boys..._

The benefit of the doubt was starting to slip out of his grasp a little. Maybe Sif was right and this had to be stopped. But, of course, that wasn't really their choice.

At least she'd be going home for most of it, not having to stay with the family. Loki was going to be trapped here with Thor the whole time.

Still, there was some peace as the ladies left with the B-camera crew and he and Thor were left alone. As alone as possible with a couple of camera people and a sound guy anyway. The director flicked through a few pages on her clipboard, signalling how she wanted the lighting changed now for the different set up. A cosier, more intimate shot. 

"I'm glad you're here, Lokes," Thor said softly. "It's a big thing to ask and I'm... I'm touched that you'd do this for me. You're a good friend. Given how bad I've been on that front lately, I probably don't deserve it."

"How honest are you comfortable with me being?" Loki asked, ignoring the attempted burying of the hatchet. They'd buried so many between them that they practically had a hatchet forest. "I mean, they're going to ask about how we met and everything."

Thor shrugged, but the tension in his shoulders was obvious.

"Well, I don't want you to feel like you have to lie."

"But she's... Amora's going to see this. I'd understand if you didn't want me to mention it."

"Well, she never asked how we met. It's hardly my fault that she never asked."

Something was off here. What was up with him? He seemed so... fractious and harsh. Almost grumpy. Not at all how he usually was, or used to be. Admittedly, having a whole group of strangers descend on your home was probably a bit stressful. The place was certainly a lot cleaner than Loki was used to it being, like it had been scrubbed in readiness.

Amora had probably had him up at the crack of dawn to dust.

"OK, Thor, if you'd like to sit here and we'll just ask you some background questions. If you could answer in full sentences, that would be great."

"Do you want me to leave?" Loki asked. "For privacy?"

"No, we'll need you in just a few moments. OK, Thor, look at me, not at the camera. How's that shot? Perfect. So, how did you and Amora meet?"

"Through... Sorry. Amora and I met through work. I was brought in as an advisory for a legal case she was working on."

"And what exactly were you advising on?"

"I was advising on music theory. It was a copyright claim and I was supposed to decide if two songs were similar enough in structure to be possible plagiarism. They weren't. Her client lost. But for some reason, she liked me all the same. God knows what she saw in me really."

That was closer to the Thor Loki knew, but still not quite there. Smiling wryly, effortlessly charming. That had been the face he'd been intrigued by at that party of a mutual friend all those years ago, the smile that had made him want to get close and try his luck, even though normally he'd have kept far away from guys with guitars at parties. Back then, Thor's dream had been to hit the big time. He hadn't made it, not as such, and never did. But he did production work here and there for local groups, played for fun, made most of his money from tutoring. And then, of course, he'd got his technical qualifications and made his way up to being head of audio at one of the big theatres down town. Not his dream, maybe, but nothing to be sniffed at.

"And why did you choose Loki to be your best man?"

"Oh, well, Loki and me have been friends for years. And though my first instinct was to have Sif since she's my oldest friend, Amora thought having a man as best man would be more traditional. And Loki's my best man friend."

He glanced over, hope in his eyes. Best male friend, huh? Bullshit. What happened to the guys in his band? Thor had dozens of friends. Surely he didn't have to scrape the barrel and call an ex?

Then again, Thor had a keen sense of fairness. He wouldn't want to pick out one of the guys, just Fandral or just Hogan or whoever, to be 'special'. It would be all of them or none. That was how he worked.

Loki was probably the best bet Thor had. They'd been close, once. It wouldn't be difficult to pretend they still were.

"Sif hinted to us that there might be more history between you than just friendship. You and Loki."

There was suddenly a camera whirling round to face him. Oh, this was a trap! They'd got a little info out of Sif - who hadn't known it wasn't common knowledge - and now they were springing it on them. Ugh.

All right, Loki. Stretch those best man legs. Save the day.

"We dated for a bit," he said like it was nothing, adding a half shrug for good measure. "It was years ago though."

"Come round," the director said, a friendly smile on her face that Loki didn't trust at all. "Take the other seat."

This was an ambush. Well, he wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of thinking they'd somehow surprised a confession out of him.

"How did you two meet?"

"Thor and I met through friends," Loki said, even sticking to the stupid sentence rule, making it easy for them to edit out the questions later. "And we dated and broke up and now we're just good friends."

"What caused you to break up?"

Loki looked at Thor who looked back at him.

"Breaking up was a mutual decision," Loki said, voice somehow still steady. "Amicable. We just weren't right for each other. Sometimes things just don't work out. No one's fault."

That much was true. No one had cheated, no one had done anything wrong as such. It just hadn't worked. They were both stressed in their jobs, money was tight, Thor had just got the qualification that got him the kind of work that would throw him into Amora's path and was suddenly moving in slightly fancier circles and, yes, alright, maybe Loki had resented that just a little. It just hadn't seemed fair that Thor could almost fall into his profession right out of studying and yet Loki had beeing working for years and still had precious little to show for it.

He hadn't liked feeling lesser. And maybe he'd let that poison things.

Sometimes, in the dead of night and in the depths of his heart, he wondered if it had been his fault really. If he hadn't been so proud, maybe things wouldn't have broken down. But then again, if Thor had worked for it, had recognised that Loki needed a little more reassurance than he was giving, things might have been different.

Too late to know.

"And how does Amora feel about your most recent ex having such a vital role in the wedding?"

Loki looked to his left, to look at Thor's face, the guilt visibly rushing over him in a flush of pink. Get yourself out of this one.

"She, uh... I didn't tell her that we dated."

This was reality TV gold dust. And maybe Loki was tempted to prod the wound a little. It was for his own good. Maybe. Teaching Thor a little lesson.

"Does she even know you're bi?" he asked.

Thor's spluttering response told him all he needed to know.

"Well, it's hardly relevant, is it? I'm with her now, so other people I am or am not attracted to don't come into it anymore. I chose her."

Uh-huh. That didn't sound like rehearsed justification at all. And he knew he was talking crap. It was obvious.

It was a bad sign that he couldn't even convince himself. The creeping suspicion was there, that Thor knew this was a mistake, but didn't know how to get himself out of it.

He'd never been good at admitting he needed help with anything. Even stupid things like changing the duvet cover. He'd rather struggle on alone than ask for help. It was a trait they shared, to a greater or lesser extent.

Loki glanced at the director, catching her gesture for him to continue with his needling, which of course made him want to contrary. He might be squirting a little lemon juice into Thor's wounds, but he wasn't going to do it on anyone else's account.

"OK," he said brightly. "So, what have we got on the list to sort out before the big day?"

Thor's unspoken but evident gratitude took the edge off the awkwardness. Even if only a little.


	3. Time Alone

This setting was far more naturalistic and Loki couldn't help but worry about his expressions. Grimaces and frowns and raised eyebrows that he couldn't control. He'd never been too keen on the whole wedding industry at the best of times and looking at the list of requirements Thor had scrawled out wasn't helping.

Venue... Well, fine. Catering, of course. Invitations, dress, cake... Table settings. Suits. Wedding favours. Hen party.

"You don't have a stag do listed," Loki said.

Thor shrugged. "Don't really fancy one."

"Nothing big. Nothing with strippers and ritual humiliation. Surely just a night with the guys? Have a few drinks, grab dinner?"

"Nah. All that 'last night of freedom' nonsense. Don't need it."

"But she does?"

Another shrug. This was wrong. Thor loved nothing more than a good night, a little boozing but nothing excessive, fun with good friends. Good food, good company, good music, good time had by all.

"What's happened to you?" Loki found himself asking.

"Grew up."

Bullshit.

Loki took up a pen and wrote in stag do, ignoring Thor's protests.

"Just a few friends going out for dinner," he said. "To celebrate, not commiserate. I'll even pay for it if the budget is that tight."

To Loki's ears, twelve grand was a huge amount of money, but apparently it was not a lot for a wedding. Or not a lot for the kind of wedding Amora had in mind, because there was no way these were things Thor wanted for himself.

It felt like he spent the next hour or so sitting next to a stranger. The Thor he knew would never go for this much style over substance, pointless flamboyance. Oh, he could be showy if he wanted to be, but not like this. 

"You want to get married in a castle?" Loki asked, incredulous. A beach maybe, even a church for tradition's sake, but a castle? Surely Thor would want something simpler.

"It's romantic."

"It's draughty."

They were evidently loving this behind the camera. The bitchy ex trying to undermine everything. He caught sight of the director smiling at her monitor, the huge headphones making her look like Minnie Mouse.

"How did you propose, by the way?" he asked instead, trying to at least seem supportive.

"Oh..." Thor said and the alarm bells began ringing in Loki's head. "Well, I sort of didn't, I suppose. Amora mentioned that she wanted to be married before she was thirty and that she didn't want to waste her time and I agreed she shouldn't and so we went ring shopping the next day."

Loki's jaw had dropped. He tried his best to recover and not make it obvious, to take that in. That wasn't a proposal, from either of them. It was an arrangement. And that would be fine if it had been a decision they'd made together, but he wasn't so sure about that.

"Do you even want to get married?"

He scoffed, laughed in Loki's face.

"Of course I do!"

"You're sure you just don't want the fuss of breaking up? You aren't the best at confrontation."

Thor had been merrily searching for local castles on his laptop and his fingers skidded to a halt.

"I love her, Loki."

"I don't doubt it, but you can love someone without rushing into a serious commitment you're not ready for."

"Oh, here we go..."

In an instant all the arguments came rushing back. Stupid ones about taking the bin out and more serious ones about supporting one another. They flooded back into Loki's memory, how Thor was always so laid back but somehow held a grudge like it was his last penny, how he would always sound so bloody reasonable.

"I don't want to see you make a mistake, that's all."

Thor laughed, but it wasn't the fun laugh of real fun. This was a dark chuckle, sardonic almost.

"OK, who got to you?" he asked. "Was it Sif? Fandral? Oh, it wasn't my mum, was it? Didn't know she had your number."

Loki could feel the blush on his cheeks, caught out.

"No one got to me," he lied, partially. "I'm just still in shock that you're doing this. I mean, you used to say you'd have to be with someone for years, live with them for years before even thinking about engagement. I'm surprised that it's happened this quickly. But if you're sure this is what you want, then I'll be there for you."

"Thanks," Thor said, a hint of sarcasm still in his tone.

He didn't seem to have noticed that Loki hadn't said anything about being happy about it, or supporting this in any way.

In Thor's defence, the castles he decided would be worth visiting were stunning. Loki could imagine a wonderful ceremony in some of those great halls, maybe with a choir taking advantage of the acoustics. He mentioned that to Thor as a peace offering, letting him talk about resonance for a good twenty minutes. He liked talking about technical music things.

It was a relief when the crew finally left, calling their chosen locations to organise filming there. Free advertising, even if they weren't chosen. And just like that, Loki and Thor were finally by themselves. They could finally relax a little. As far as that was possible, with the awkwardness that suddenly descended.

He helped Thor drag the futon out of the hall storage cupboard and set it up in the sitting room. A little rudimentary, but he'd slept in worse.

"I'd offer you the other half of the bed, but I thought that might make you uncomfortable."

"Oh... Yeah, no. No, thanks."

Thor laughed and this time closer to the old way. He seemed a bit brighter generally.

"How have you been?" he asked, heading for the kitchen. "How's work? How's your love life? Want anything to drink?"

"What have you got?"

"Uh, lemonade, raspberry and apple, grapefruit juice, milk... Tea."

"Tea's great. Thanks. I'm fine, really. Work's a bit dull, but it pays the rent. And I'm up for manager this year, so... Fingers crossed."

He carefully wasn't going near that last question. He had no intention of swelling Thor's ego by admitting he hadn't met anyone else of note after him. A few dates here and there. Nothing major.

"That's great," Thor said, waiting for the kettle to boil. "They'd be stupid not to promote you."

He didn't know that. He couldn't. But he believed it all the same. Good old Thor. Not only said the right thing, but meant it. Always had faith.

Thor cooked, stir-fry with tofu and Loki was quietly impressed. He'd always eaten healthily, but this was a little adventurous cooking-wise by his old standards. He even commented on it, trying to be nice.

"Oh, well, you know. Been trying to get in shape for the big day."

Loki froze mid-bite of broccoli. Get in shape? Had he seen himself lately?

"I don't think you've got anything to worry about there. All I see are great arms, so you must be doing something right."

Thor flexed a little, thoughtfully. Which was the kind of move only he could pull off.

For some reason, Loki felt the need to change the subject immediately.

"Is your mum excited to be mother of the groom? Got her hat all sorted? Or is she going for one of those fascinator things?"

Another one if those sad little chuckles.

"She's trying to put a brave face on it. But she thinks we're rushing."

Bite that tongue, Loki. Tread carefully. Don't scare him off.

"Must be hard to see her baby all grown up and getting married."

"Yeah."

It was like some kind of big rock or ice berg had got lodged between them. It might take time to wear it down. If Thor wasn't prepared to hear even his mother's no doubt cautious advice, he certainly wasn't going to hear it from anyone else. Certainly not an ex.

"Hey, if you're happy, I'm happy," Loki said. "You know what you want to do."

Thor swirled his beansprouts a little.

"Yeah," he said. "Of course."


	4. First Steps

Thor was the least decisive person in the world suddenly and Loki was in real danger of throttling him if he didn't start showing some initiative.

They drove around for close to twelve hours looking at castles and mansions which all had pros and cons to be discussed only for Thor to choose the very first venue they had looked at. Which, to be fair to him, was a stunning stately home, all huge high ceilings with gorgeous plasterwork and gold leaf, columns and oil paintings.

Loki might not ever expect to marry anyone wearing a long white dress, but he could see how beautiful one might look floating over the dark wood floors.

It did, however, wipe out half the budget in one fell swoop. They could have the wedding and reception in the same place though and it included catering, so maybe that was going to help with stress in the long run.

Still... The very first venue. Loki could already see the director making a note of that to be edited in a way that probably would make Thor seem flippant or uncaring. Or maybe neurotic. Which was her job, after all. Create any missing drama in the edit suite.

Her name was Jane, he had learned, and she was clearly in the wrong job. Or at least, the wrong kind of the right job. She filmed them like she was making a nature documentary.

"Are you confident Amora will like the venue, Thor?" she asked. "Answer in a sentence."

"I think Amora will like this one. It's maybe not quite a castle, but I'm sure it will still make her feel like a princess."

So smooth. Nice soundbite for the programme trailer.

"And what are the big items still on the list that need sorted?"

"In terms of big items still on the list, I think we can save a bit of budget by doing the invitations ourselves, but the dress is still a huge one. Really important."

"Are you looking forward to dress shopping, Loki?"

He forced a smile. Happy, happy. Not dreading it at all.

"I've heard you get free champagne in some wedding dress boutiques," he said. "I'm looking forward to that."

Thor grinned and threw an arm around his shoulder.

"Loki's always been more stylish than me," he said. "He's exactly who I need to come with me to help and advise."

Happy faces all round, but Loki couldn't shake the feeling that Thor was coasting here. He didn't seem to be making any of the decisions based on anything he wanted. It was odd. It was his wedding too. Surely there had to be something he wanted to choose because he liked it.

Loki became determined to find at least one thing that would be Thor's choice, uninhibited by what he thought Amora would prefer.

"Have you thought about suits?" he asked in a brief moment of privacy as they headed for home.

"Suits?"

"Well, unless you were planning on getting married in your boxers..."

Thor barked out a laugh, over loud and enthusiastic.

"Honestly, no," he said. "I mean... I know I don't want a cummerbund. Don't fancy those. I don't know really. I suppose I should get the bridesmaids dresses and then get a suit that tones well with them."

Loki scoffed, like that wasn't a sensible suggestion at all.

"No! It's your wedding. You're the groom. They should match you."

"You think so?"

"Of course. Besides, it's important that you're comfortable. You're going to have to dance in it after all."

The look of panic Thor gave him told him in no uncertain terms that he hadn't even thought about that.

***

How could a professional musician have such a dearth of rhythm?

Well... Alright, that wasn't fair. Thor had great rhythm. He always trod on Loki's toe exactly on the beat. It was more the where his feet were going than the timings.

"Why are you leaning into me like that?"

"Because I'm being Amora so you need to steer. I'm waiting for you to lead. The man always leads."

"That's a sexist way of doing things. The better dancer should lead."

"I didn't make the rules!"

After an hour, he'd maybe got the hang of a basic waltz, but he kept looking down at his feet no matter how often Loki caught his chin to make him look up.

"You're supposed to be gazing into the eyes of the woman you love, not checking the shine of your shoes."

Thor frowned and pouted and decided to give up for one day. Which Loki was a little relieved about. It wasn't his fault that his body was an idiot and really liked having a big, warm hand on his waist and being in such close contact with the chest he used to use as a pillow, but trying to keep his cheeks from flushing was difficult.

Not that Thor would have seen, staring at the floor.

He had to get rid of this, this beginning of a memory of a crush. It hadn't worked between them. And now Thor was marrying someone else. Now was not the time to be finding him attractive, even only physically.

And maybe everyone was wrong. Maybe Thor was happy. What right did he and Sif have to think they knew best? It was Thor's life, his choice.

All the same, he'd like to be sure.

And one thing he wasn't sure about was how exactly to ask that without it coming across as judgemental.

"So where's all Amora's stuff?" he asked as they made dinner, unable to find so much as an unfamiliar mug.

There was evidence of her in the bathroom, of course. Nice soap, floral conditioner, tampons. But though obviously he hadn't been into the bedroom, he hadn't seen anything else that he thought was hers at all. No books, no ornaments, no pictures...

"It's at her place."

Thor said it very casually, but there was a slight air of tension there.

"Oh, so... So you don't live together?"

"Not yet. I want to, but she doesn't want to move to a one-bed and her place is too far for some of my students to get to. The people I tutor, you know."

"Didn't realise you were still doing that."

"Well... Gives me a little extra pocket money. And I enjoy it."

Once upon a time, teaching guitar had been Thor's main source of income while he got his qualifications. More than once he'd kept Loki waiting in the kitchen for date night while he spent just another five minutes trying to fix someone's hand position or help with smooth strumming.

When he wasn't annoyed and getting a head start on the wine, Loki had found it charming. It showed that Thor cared. He was a good teacher.

"You don't get many people getting married without co-habiting," Loki said, trying not to sound like he was making any kind of value judgement.

"I know. But that's why doing the show is a good idea - they pay for the whole thing so we can keep saving to put a deposit down on somewhere that works for both of us. Besides, it's what they used to do in the old days, isn't it? I don't think my parents lived together before they got married and my grandparents certainly didn't."

He sounded so reasonable. Loki couldn't help but be concerned though that marrying someone you'd never had to split a wardrobe with or seen trying to balance clean dishes couldn't be the most sensible plan.

"Is she prepared for your approach to laundry? Or lack thereof?"

Thor laughed, rolling his eyes.

"I'm much better with that these days. You trained me well. In lots of things."

Loki clattered the plates he was trying to take out of the cupboard.

He tried to pretend that he didn't carry anything from that time around with him anymore, but he knew he did. Little stupid things. Lining up the remotes in order of size because Thor liked them like that. Rinsing out glass bottles before putting them in the recycling. Turning his jeans inside out before washing them.

When you lived with someone so intimately, even for just six months before things went sour, it was difficult to separate out the way you lived, he supposed.

And he definitely wasn't going to let the TV crew come anywhere near that little tidbit of information if he could possibly help it.


	5. Shades of Suits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not over that red blazer from AoU.
> 
> (Also thank you to everyone who pointed out that I had forgotten to actually put in the rules of this reality show they're on which would be a very useful thing to have done. Whoops.
> 
> Got ahead of myself as this is based on a real show called Don't Tell The Bride which is something of a guilty pleasure, but I have finally actually put the premise of it into the narrative. Sorry about that. I may go back and edit the first chapter to make this more clear.)

Loki had multiple texts from Sif the next morning. Was this allowed? After all, he had signed the contract swearing that he wouldn't contact 'the Bride' over the course of two weeks of filming. She was not to know anything in advance - they'd send the dress a few days early in case it needed adjusting, but otherwise she was not to see Thor or hear anything before the morning of the wedding. She wouldn't know where or how she was getting married. Thor was meant to choose everything without her influence. That was the whole point.

Then again, there hadn't been anything to say that the best man couldn't talk to the bridesmaids. Sif was hardly going to be reporting back if her tone was anything to go by.

He really got the feeling that she and Amora had very different ways of looking at the world which both had their merits, but were bound to lead to clashes.

Apparently Amora had been voicing doubts because Thor had not been keen on her choice of engagement ring. Something about yellow diamonds, which seemed to be very expensive. Sif considered this an unnecessary extravagance.

 _Just because you've never wanted the traditional stuff doesn't mean she's not allowed,_ Loki texted after reading her slew of complaints, a stickler for spelling as always.

_she doesnt love him! she loves the idea of him! its not the same thing_

The idea of a sensitive but ruggedly handsome musician who actually had a proper job on the side and could cook? Who could ever love that?

_What do you mean?_

_Hang on, i'll call u_

No, no, no! Not while he was in the next room to Thor! Then again, he could hardly hit busy now. She knew he had his phone on him.

And a phone call would leave less evidence of contact... No one could prove what they'd discussed.

"You talk," he said quietly as soon as he picked up. "He might hear me, so I'll just listen."

She sighed heavily, sounding tired. Maybe filming with the B crew - the ones trying to goad Amora into saying things that would be suitably ironic when spliced together with Thor's choices - and going round her dream locations and boutiques was just as exhausting as it sounded.

"She wants to be married. And that's fine. I have no issue with that. It's important to lots of people. But she doesn't seem to care who exactly she's married to. It's like 'Oh, he's here at the right time, he'll do' and she has this fantasy of this easy married life where she gets her own way all the time. But she hasn't recognised that Thor isn't easy, he's just easygoing. He hates rocking the boat unnecessarily, but he doesn't recognise when it's necessary and so he'll put up with things for far too long and he won't talk about anything that's bothering him until it's too late and things will fester and get worse and worse until he bursts..."

"Hey, you awake?" Thor called.

"Yeah, hang on!" Loki threw back before lowering his voice again. "I'm trying to make him talk honestly, but it's hard with the cameras. Awkward, you know?"

"Of course. And you're trying not to look like the bitter ex too. What's the plan for today? I think I have to go let Amora dictate what my hair and make-up would look like if she was in charge."

"Suits for both of us," Loki groaned. "And then dresses. All the dresses."

"Buy me something nice? Fitted, long, not too fussy? Please make Thor step away from any ruffles or bows."

"I'll do my best."

Thor put his head round the door, smiling and then ducking apologetically upon seeing the phone.

"Yeah, talk to you later, Mum," Loki said, sending Sif into cackling laughter. "Bye."

He didn't want to risk any suspicion, or get it into Thor's head that he had some kind of clandestine romance going on.

"You didn't have to hang up on my account," Thor said. "I just wondered if you wanted tea before the crew arrive."

He might prefer something stronger, but it would do. And he was definitely getting out of his pyjamas before there was a camera in his face, thank you very much.

Maybe he hid in the bathroom just a little too long before braving people and getting into Thor's car.

Tailors were not exactly Loki's idea of fun, he quickly learned. A stranger poking around at his inside leg was a lot less enjoyable than it sounded. Too many pins and measurements.

Thor was looking doubtfully at the fabric samples. He wouldn't go for all white. Too showbiz. Too old Elvis impersonator. That wasn't his style. But the black was maybe a little funeral-y.

To Loki's horror, Thor hovered over 1970s brown for a while, almost making him want to step in, but he did eventually move on.

"Can I try one in the slate grey?"

Loki nodded approvingly even though Thor couldn't see him. Grey was good. Not overwhelming, subtle. Likely to bring out the deep, stormy tones of his blue eyes.

But when he had it on, it was a little... dull? Even with a bright tie, it just wasn't quite right. And Thor clearly wasn't comfortable in it.

"You look great," he told Loki as they stood side by side in front of the mirror in matching jackets. "I look like a lump of concrete."

"We could try a lighter shade?"

None of them were quite right. There had to be something wrong with these clothes because none of them suited him.

Until, possibly as a joke, one of the camera crew suggested trying the grey waistcoat with a dark burgundy jacket, a deep red that Thor had proclaimed too flamboyant.

He couldn't have been more wrong.

"Wow," was all Loki could say when Thor appeared from behind the changing room curtain.

"You think so? It's not too much?"

"No. No, it's... It's good. Really good."

The colour made his hair seem to almost glow, golden even under the harsh fluorescent lights. It picked out the shades of pink in his face, on his cheeks and lips. It made him slightly softer, but carried an air of quiet confidence that was Thor all over.

"What to you think Amora will think of it?" Jane asked, ever present clipboard in hand. "Will she approve?"

"Doesn't matter," Loki cut in. "She's marrying him, not his clothes. And anyway, he looks great, so..."

Thor smiled at him in the mirror, standing up a little taller. Which made this the perfect moment to...

"Not that she knows it's him she's meant to care about, from what I hear."

Thor's face fell instantly as he span round. The microphone bobbed above him like a fluffy pigeon waiting for crumbs. Juicy dramatic crumbs.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" he asked.

In for a penny...

"I think you know exactly what I mean. It's not you she wants, it's being married."

Thor scoffed, eyes like flints. Visibly closing off.

"You don't know her."

"But I do know you. And I think you're scared. If you were really sure, really certain you were marrying the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, you'd be more excited. More invested. I'm worried that this isn't what you really want and Sif says..."

"I'm not listening to this," Thor said, hands up and walking away.

"Thor, please..."

"No. You don't know what you're talking about."

"Convince me I'm wrong."

"I shouldn't have to!"

He'd gone to hide in the men's bathroom. Typical. He'd always hated confrontation, for as long as Loki had known him. Spoken confrontation anyway. He didn't mind if someone was dumb enough to challenge him to an arm wrestle from time to time, but verbally... No, he had a real aversion to it.

"Do you think Thor's making a mistake?" Jane asked.

"I'm beginning to suspect he might be."

"Can you answer in a sentence?"

Loki pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing heavily.

"No, I can't. I have to go talk to my... To Thor. Please stop filming. Just... Five minutes of privacy."

"It's my job to film you. I'm sorry."

Fair point. But he was a bargainer at heart.

"How about you don't film this and I'll try on the wedding dresses? As many as you want. Promise."

She made him shake on it.


	6. Thawing

"Thor?"

"Go away."

Loki held back the urge to sigh. Careful, careful. Yes, walking on eggshells was really annoying, but better this than descending into an actual fight.

"It's just me. The cameras are off. And I brought your clothes if you want to change out of the suit."

Stony silence and then Thor unlocked the cubicle door. He wasn't crying of course, but he was visibly upset. There was no mistaking those blotches, the faint red marks around his eyes.

"I'm sorry," Loki said quietly, ripping the apology out of himself as Thor huffed and started unbuttoning his shirt. "That wasn't the way to go about trying to ask if you have any doubts."

"It's pretty hard not to doubt," Thor said, not looking at him. "Especially when everyone's telling me I'm making a mistake. I... I worry."

"You can't fix doubts by ignoring them though."

But what options did he have? Call off the wedding now? Tell Amora he didn't want this?

That wasn't Thor's style. He hated hurting people if he could possibly avoid it. Which wasn't to say he didn't hurt people. Loki knew about that first hand. Sometimes avoiding confrontation or unpleasant things just made it all worse, meant things built up and the eventual explosion was devastating.

"But what if... What if they're right?"

Loki shrugged. Supportive. A friend. Let him decide for himself.

"Do you think they're right, honestly? Or do you think they could have a point? Or are they wrong?"

Thor closed his eyes and shook his head, but all he said was "I don't know."

The urge to shake him was strong. But what if it was just natural cold feet? What if it was normal, not doubts so much as the nerves of making a huge life decision? How could they even tell? It was understandable if he felt a little nervous. Then again probably wasn't healthy if he was feeling dread before what was meant to be the happiest day of his life.

Loki turned his back while Thor changed. Nothing he hadn't seen before, but still... They weren't like that anymore.

"I'm sorry if I seem antagonistic," he said to the tiles, trying to smooth things over. "I don't mean to be. You know I care about you. I just want to know you're sure. Or at least pretty sure."

No reply. So Thor wasn't. Even 51% sure would be something.

His heart leapt when Thor suddenly wrapped his arms around him from behind, squeezing tight, and he wasn't sure if it was excitement or panic racing through him. Oh, God, Thor's hugs were always all consuming, making him feel almost overwhelmed, enveloped. Physical memories running away with him, of feeling so safe and so loved once upon a time, wanting that again but knowing he shouldn't lean back, couldn't...

"I care about you too. And sometimes I wish..."

That thought was never to be finished as Loki shrugged him off, shaken. He didn't need to hear it. He needed to get out.

"I promised I'd try on the wedding dresses," he said, trying to get rid of the awkwardness, pretending it wasn't there. "So that they'd leave us alone for this."

Thor made a face.

"Right. Dresses. Guess I should do it too then."

"Seriously? You?"

A splash of water on his face, dried with one of those scratchy green paper towels. Just about back to normal.

"What? Don't you think I'll look pretty enough? Can't let my best man get all the attention."

In spite of everything, Loki found himself laughing.

"As if they'll have something in your size. They probably won't even have mine. I'm kind of counting on it."

Inexplicably - maybe Jane had called ahead to ensure there weren't just dresses for petite women - there were a couple that they could just about squeeze into.

Loki looked into the mirror and knew he looked ridiculous. The white lace sleeves bulged around his arms, the sweetheart neckline admittedly showing off his collarbone to full effect but then sinking like an undercooked meringue where his bust wasn't. His complete lack of a waist did nothing for the bodice either.

"I can't do mine up," Thor called from the neighbouring changing room. "But prepare yourself because I look fantastic anyway. You?"

"I look like a skinny polar bear that's been rolled in diamante."

"On three?"

They opened the curtains together, cameras there to capture them. Loki tried to ignore them, tried not to blush, but then he turned and...

Well, Thor couldn't be accused of half measures. He picked up his skirts like a princess, the open neckline and undone back making him seem to spill out of the dress like a voluptuous milk maid, an Alice band holding a veil in place over his face, hair loose and flowing.

It shouldn't have worked, but there was something wonderful about it. Unapologetic, comfortable, swishing the dress this way and that, lifting the veil coquettishly. Even the beard didn't take away from it.

"This is great," Thor said. "Can I wear this and put her in the suit?"

His eyes were sparkling now, so different from just a half hour ago.

"She'd kill you," Loki said, watching Thor turn and look at him.

Not look... Stare. His eyes went up and down Loki's body, like he was stunned. Lingering in ways they probably shouldn't.

"Polar bear, huh?" he said. "I don't think so. You're more... You know. Elegant. Statuesque, that's the word."

Loki knew he had gone a little pink and desperately made his way to the rack of white cloth, feeling like he was wading through honey as he tried to manoeuvre the petticoats.

"Which one do you think Amora would suit though?" he asked. "We're hardly built the same."

It quickly became apparent that Thor knew nothing about dresses. He referred to things like "the puffy bit", "the top bit", "the traily bit" and didn't quite seem to know what kind of thing he wanted at all.

The shop assistant gamely tried on almost every dress in the shop. A whole myriad of styles. Shiny and embroidered, flowing, tight, fish-tailed, with and without trains... It was amazing how many variations there were on "white dress."

And Thor chose the same one Loki was wearing.

It would probably suit Amora better. She'd fill it out more, actually having curves. He wasn't even sure if Thor realised what he'd done, or if it was subconscious.

That left the bridesmaids' dresses. They'd had Lorelei and Sif's measurements sent over for adjustments and apparently they could have any style in any colour as long as the budget would stretch to it.

"Well, we're wearing red," Thor said, looking at beautiful taffeta gowns that could have been worn by Greek goddesses. Hopefully Sif would approve. "So I suppose they should wear red too."

"Ooh! A bold choice," the assistant said. "Some people are shy of red. They think it represents the Other Woman, if you know what I mean. Or at least that's what my mother used to say. Probably nonsense."

Loki thought of the red suit jacket even now being altered for him, and tried to get that thought out of his mind.

Yes, Thor had started saying something a bit weird in the bathroom and he'd been complimentary today, but it was nothing. Those feelings were long gone, for both of them. He was just nervous about the wedding, that was all.

That was all.


	7. Mistakes

Days began to blur. There seemed to always be something else to try to be enthusiastic about. There was cake to be tried, red velvet to match the colour scheme. There was the hen party to book. Canapes and pink champagne and paper supplies for the invitations.

Maybe Loki was putting those off. They went to a free local calligraphy workshop since the budget wouldn't stretch to having individual names printed, and while it was fun to mess around with proper ink pens, there was just something about actually writing and sending them that seemed a little... too final.

It wasn't like Thor was pushing for it. He was happy enough trying to feed Loki his weight in cake samples and then banishing anything he considered "unhealthy" from his home on the basis that they'd had too many calories' worth of whipped cream and white chocolate icing.

And while it was nice to be feeling more comfortable, more relaxed around each other, making Thor giggle by writing out swears in the neatest, curliest handwriting, making fun of the ridiculousness of it all, there was still a sense of faint tension between them. It came and went. Loki would be enjoying himself in spite of everything and then suddenly Thor would put his arm around him or lean his head on his shoulder and suddenly no, no, uh-uh, nope... Time to step away.

Sif was utterly thrilled to be sent on a spa weekend instead of having to go on a traditional hen. Massages and face masks and swimming... She was in heaven, apparently, even if she did have to be there with Amora. Maybe the calming environment helped them forget their differences. It was easy to imagine her pretending to sleep with slices of cucumber on her eyes.

Meanwhile, Loki was desperately calling around Thor's old bandmates trying to get a stag party together. No one was particularly enthusiastic, even when Loki explained it was going to be a quiet affair, just dinner and drinks among friends, nothing scandalous. Don't worry, Volstagg, I know you're a happily married man. No, Hogun, nothing so much as a flirtation with anything ethically questionable. Yes, Fandral, I'm sure you'll be able to go out dancing afterwards.

It would have been nice. It ought to have been nice.

It was not nice. It was like a wake.

"Tell us about the joys of married life, Volstagg," Loki suggested after the world's least convincing toast.

"Oh, well, Hilde and me, you know," he rumbled, like he was trying to talk into his beard. "We'd been sweethearts forever. It felt almost natural, like the right thing to do. And now we're going from strength to strength. She's my best friend, you know."

He didn't need to voice the implication. That Amora and Thor were sometimes barely friends, let alone partners.

"Ugh, you people," Fandral said, draining what seemed to be his second or third pint. "So sappy. Who needs another drink?"

Had Thor always been a melancholy drunk? Loki seemed to recall him being boisterous, losing all control of his vocal loudness. They moved from their table to one of the soft leather couch booths after dinner, Fandral up dancing of course and Volstagg chatting to Hogun about something or other and Thor staring at nothing, clearly not listening.

"You OK?" Loki asked, leaning in to ask.

"Mm."

"Was that a yes?"

"Mm."

"You're a terrible liar."

Thor groaned and leant against him, heavier than he probably meant to be, forcing Loki to brace against the arm of the couch.

"M scared. And that's so fucking... pathetic an' I should be better than this but I don't know..."

Presumably this rambling made sense to him, but Loki was totally lost.

"What are you scared of? It's just a wedding. She's just a person you love. Nothing scary about it."

A big sniffle. Oh, dear. Tears before bedtime. Abort mission.

"I only liked her cos she reminded me of you, she was like you. I didn't realise but it's the truth and she's... She's smart and beautiful and sharp but what if I don't love her? What if I just love the memories?"

Deep breaths. He didn't know what he was saying.

"Then you have a type and your type is pretty but dickish. That's OK. Doesn't mean anything. Except that maybe you should get better taste."

Thor giggled, but it was still close to sobbing.

"She doesn't make me laugh, you know. Not... Not on purpose. And she gets mad when I laugh because she's accidently made a pun. But I don't want to hurt her, I don't want to... It's not right..."

Yes, thanks, Thor, you just wipe your gross nose all over someone's shoulder and... Shit, were those lips against his neck?

He turned to try to push Thor away, only to get a sloppy kiss approximately on his mouth, too quickly for him to escape.

For a moment, a long awful moment, he was too stunned to move. He froze up. And while he wasn't kissing back, it took far too long for his brain to kick in and make him actually squirm away.

"OK," he said, leaping to his feet in front of Hogun and Volstagg's horrified faces, which told him they'd definitely seen that. "Alright, time for bed, Mister. You're drunk. You don't know what you're doing. Let's get you home."

He was wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, mortified, barely paying attention to talk of where the nearest taxi rank was, when he caught Jane's eye across the room.

Shit. He thought they'd left long ago, after dinner was over. And there were no mics so they would have no context, just cuddles and smooches between the groom and the best man.

He strolled over in as casual a fashion as he could muster.

"I take it you caught that?" he asked, as if he needed to. Jane's raised eyebrows told him everything he needed to know.

"Afraid so."

"Look... He's drunk. He's nervous. It was a mistake, a drunken mistake. It means nothing. There is no need to hurt Amora by showing her that."

He felt sick. Cold and awful, stomach churning.

"Please," he said. "Don't use it. Let me find some other way to humiliate myself for entertainment."

She looked up at him, still seated, mouth twisted.

"You really care about him, don't you?" she asked.

The question was surprising. Would he be doing all this if he didn't?

"Of course. He's my friend."

She narrowed her eyes for a moment and then sighed, reaching for a laptop on the table.

"The lighting was crap anyway," she said, selecting some files and deleting them in front of him. "And it would have made me feel gross. But you owe me something really good for this."

What could he give?

Oh, no...

"How does hungover first dance practice sound?"

***

Getting Thor home was like a military operation and Loki was glad the others were there to help.

"Just like old times," Hogun said, half carrying Thor up the stairs. "Though at least he's not singing."

Volstagg went into full dad mode, laying down towels and a basin by Thor's bed in case he was ill while they practically force-fed him water in the kitchen. A pint and a bit seemed to be all he could manage though.

"Into bed," Loki said, half pushing him. "Come on."

"You're coming too?"

"No."

Annoyed grunt, but bed was obviously a nice place to be as Thor flopped, grumbling into his pillow.

The hallway was horribly awkward. Loki couldn't meet anyone's gaze.

"I'd be grateful if we don't mention what happened tonight ever again," he said. "He was drunk. It was nothing."

They all nodded and mumbled in vague agreement.

"Are you on the couch?" Fandral asked.

"Futon."

"Then can I have the couch? I'm knackered. And I can be a buffer between you and Prince Charming in the morning."

That actually sounded like a good idea. After seeing the others off, they managed to find blankets and cushions enough for him to get vaguely comfortable.

But unfortunately, he wanted to talk. Loki wanted to sleep and pretend all of this had never happened.

"You know, you and Amora will probably get on, once you get to know each other. You're quite similar."

"I got the impression that she wasn't exactly flavour of the month."

"True. But you share a lot of her good qualities. Intelligent, shrewd, charming. But she has a much bigger dose of control freak than you do, which is saying something."

Loki stared at the shadows on the ceiling.

"I get the feeling you didn't mean for that to be insulting."

Fandral laughed, almost a cackle.

"Sorry. But it's true. And sometimes I can't help but look at her and wonder if Thor ever got over you really, or if he just found someone a little similar on the rebound."

Gentle steady breaths, Loki told himself. In and out, slow and steady.

"That doesn't sound very fair on her," he said. "Even if that were true, which it's not, it's hardly her fault. She's the one that would be hurt if it goes wrong."

"I know. The whole thing is fucked up if you ask me. That's why I don't believe in marriage. Always ends in tears. Take my folks for example..."

Somehow, Loki managed to fall asleep in the ensuing monologue. And at least Fandral drowned out his racing, anxious thoughts.


	8. Morning

Fandral seemed to be practically immune to booze if his merry whistling the next morning was anything to go by. Loki hadn't even been particularly drunk, hadn't had that much, but he still had that gross dry mouth and faint thudding behind the eyes as he dragged himself out of the futon and staggered through to the kitchen.

"Pancakes?" Fandral asked as the scent of fried eggs, onions and bacon hit Loki in the face. "Nearly got the makings of a fry-up going here. I could do eggy bread if you prefer."

Loki blinked at him, grabbing a glass and gulping down water before looking for the instant coffee. Caffeine, caffeine now.

"Did you go to the shop?" he asked. "Thor didn't have bacon or... or any of this stuff."

"Indeed, I did. Borrowed his keys, but I doubt he'll mind. You might be best man, but I think I might be second best no matter what Thor says."

Brown sauce. Manna from heaven. He and Fandral had their differences, but he could kiss him right now.

Oh... Oh, shouldn't have thought about kissing. A gross sick feeling that had nothing to do with the beer probably still sloshing around in his stomach rose into his throat and only got worse as Thor stumbled into the room, still wearing last night's shirt.

Loki had had his fair share of awkward morning afters, shuffling feet and shifting eyes and guest towels, but they were nothing to this. Thor looked at him and looked away, evidently remembering exactly what had happened last night. Loki had half-hoped he wouldn't.

Well, so what? What did it matter? It hadn't even been a snog. It was hardly cheating. It had been barely a lip bump, for God's sake.

Fandral put a plate down on the table, flapping a tea towel vaguely in Thor's direction.

"Eat. You need something to soak up the remains of all those pints."

"Yeah, and who was feeding those to me?" Thor asked, sitting down despite his obvious discomfort.

They munched in silence for a while, though even the sound of chewing sounded cacophonous to Loki's ears. There wasn't so much an elephant in the room as an entire herd.

Gloomily trying to dip a crust of toast into his egg yolk, Loki decided it was the better of two evils to broach things now rather than when the cameras arrived.

"OK," he said, sighing. "Good news and bad news. The good news is I managed to get the video evidence of your little moment of madness last night redacted."

Thor finally looked at him, guarded and sorrowful, like a puppy that had been caught breaking into the biscuit jar.

"How? Seems like something they'd rather not let go. The drama and so on."

Loki sighed. Not enough coffee. Need more.

"I bargained it away with the promise of waltz practice in our pyjamas. In case you hadn't guessed, this is the bad news."

Thor dropped the knife he was using to butter his toast, sending it spiralling across the floor, hitting Loki's heel just as he stood to top up his cup.

It didn't even really hurt, blunt as it was, but Loki still found tears in his eyes.

"Stabbing me in the foot won't get you out of this," he said, viciously kicking it back under the table. "And giving me that look won't undo that you that you made a mistake. I've done as much damage control as I can. Stop looking for sympathy."

He daren't even look back at Thor as he flounced across the kitchen. He focussed on the kettle, on the coffee granules, on the shine of the spoon. Stony silence fell upon them, only interrupted by the ringing of Thor's doorbell, announcing the arrival of the crew.

This was going to be thoroughly awful...

At least they had a little time to prepare while the cameras and microphones were set up, hiding in the kitchen while Fandral tried his best to be chirpy.

"We've all done worse things," he said gamely. "The world still turned, the sun still came up."

"I kissed someone who wasn't my fiancee," Thor said miserably. "And don't say I was drunk and that excuses it. It doesn't, at all. I need to tell her."

Who was this responsible idiot and what had he done with Thor? There was a time and a place for honesty and Loki couldn't help but feel that this wasn't it.

"You want to tell her, do you?" he asked. "Because I'm sure that will go down well. It's not like that will also involve telling her a few other crucial details that you've neglected to make her aware of with regards to fairly major parts of your identity. There's no possible way that could go wrong."

Thor practically whimpered and put his head in his hands.

"What am I going to do?" he said. "Tell me what I should do."

"The only thing you can do. Pretend it never happened and come dance for the cameras."

Yes, because waltzing really helped on the awkwardness front. Thor was leaving room for Jesus, Mary, Joseph, the three wise men and at least a shepherd or two. His hold was stiffer only than his steps, the hand on Loki's waist like a wet fish.

He had gotten better though. No more staring at the floor. Instead he was looking intensely at the spot just over Loki's left shoulder.

One-two-three, one-two-three, turn the lady...

That is not turning the lady, that is putting the lady in an armlock and making her be forced to choose between a broken bone and a fall.

"Ow! Wrists do not bend that way!"

"Sorry," Thor said, catching him before he could trip over his own feet, hands gripping his waist, their eyes actually meeting for the first time all morning.

They leapt apart as soon as they realised.

"Cut," Jane sighed. "Cut the feed. We need to sit down and sort this out."

Loki chose the opposite end of the couch from where Thor slouched, carefully leaving a wide gap between them.

"Alright," she said, perching on the edge of Thor's coffee table. "I am far from being a couples counsellor, but I've been doing this job for a few years now and, my God, you need to talk about this. I got rid of the evidence of last night's little indiscretion out of the goodness of my heart, but I might need to put an explanation into the narration script because it is unbelievably obvious that something has happened between you two since yesterday."

Loki stared at the floor, the old familiar carpet with its well-worn weave.

"It's not a big thing," he said quietly. "Why are we making it a big thing?"

Thor grunted, getting another sigh from Jane.

"I don't like doing this, you know," she said. "Editing people's lives into entertaining little chunks. Sometimes I feel downright exploitative. So, cameras off. Nothing getting back to Amora. Thor... Are you sure you want to get married?"

He huffed and sighed and gestured and flopped.

"Is anyone sure?"

"Yes. Some people are. And that's not what I asked."

Loki had seen this before. He knew that Thor didn't want to hurt anyone. And if he admitted that he didn't want this, that it was his doubts that were going to dash Amora's dreams, then it was his fault and he had hurt her and he was the bad guy. Thor didn't like things being his fault. He didn't like things being anyone's fault. He liked it when things just happened or were accidents and no one was wronged.

But sometimes that couldn't be avoided.

"Which is kinder, Thor?" Loki asked. "Telling her now or letting time pass, waiting for things to fade away? Waiting for her to realise?"

He knew the truth. They all knew. It was just a matter of saying it.

"But how can I do that to her?" Thor asked, voice scratchy with more than just his hangover. "How can I let her know that she's been wasting her time with me? How can I...?"

"By not wasting any more of it?" Jane suggested.

That wasn't the way to handle Thor. He didn't wear guilt particularly well, after all. He let it eat him. Loki generally tried more of a "no shame, no regrets" approach but it wasn't exactly working out that way for him either. And Thor would feel the ache of this for a long, long time, he knew it.

"It's not just you," he said, trying to soften the blow, make it less devastating. "After all, she doesn't love you either."

He realised it was a mistake the second after he said it. Thor's eyes were suddenly wide and shocked, afraid and upset.

"What... What do you mean, she doesn't love me?"

"Well... Just that marriage is more important to her than you are. She doesn't want to marry you so much as just marry somebody and, well, you're here and you'll do and... Come on, it's not like she thinks you're soul mates or anything, is it?"

He'd thought that, in his heart of hearts, Thor had known. He'd thought it a willing blindness, taking the easy path. He'd thought the pretence covered both his own lack of affection and Amora's too.

But apparently not.

Whoops.


	9. Decision

Had he really not known? Had he really not seen?

"When was the last time you and Amora had fun, Thor?" Loki asked. "When was the last time you were happy to see her, glad she was with you? When's the last time you saw something and thought, 'Oh, Amora would like that'?"

"When's the last time she did something nice for you?" Jane added. "Not a big thing, just... I don't know. Asked about your day. Showed you an interesting picture. Sent you a news report she knew you'd be interested in. That kind of thing."

Thor frowned, like he genuinely couldn't remember. Did they ever talk, really? Or rather did they actually listen to one another?

The attraction was there, Loki believed that. He wasn't blind. He knew Amora was beautiful. But it wasn't enough to just be two beautiful people. There had to be more to it than that.

The worst thing was that Loki could tell Thor was almost perversely grateful for this revelation. It wasn't his fault. They just weren't right together. See? No blame to throw around.

The fact that this had been directly under his nose from the moment Amora asked him if he was serious and he mumbled a vague agreement seemed to have passed him by.

"I shouldn't... I shouldn't get married," he said, like the heavens had opened and given him a divine message.

"So what are you going to do?"

A moment of pain. Lips pressed together, a sigh.

"Tell her," Thor said firmly. "And apologise profusely for it, I guess. I mean... Unless I'm contractually obliged to get married for the show."

Loki honestly wouldn't put it past Amora to trap him with small print like that. They both looked at Jane questioningly as she shrugged.

"Well, it's unprecedented," she said. "I've once heard of a bride calling it off after her groom took his stag party to Croatia and got off with a waitress on camera, but never a groom deciding not to go through with it. But there's no rules except that I should really film the confrontation."

The idea obviously caused Thor some distress, but he reluctantly agreed.

Loki felt like he could breathe somehow. He'd done it. Thor wouldn't make this awful mistake. And, yes, it was going to be hard, but better to pull out a thorn than let the wound get worse.

Jane had the camera set up in a simple mid-close shot. No frills, no fuss. Serious.

"Thor, can you explain what decision you've come to? In sentences."

Loki was of a mind never to answer anything in a full sentence ever again.

"Um... I... I don't think I'm ready to get married," Thor said. "And so that makes me think that maybe I'm not the right man for her. Uh, for Amora."

Oh, bullshit. That wasn't fair. That was putting it all on her.

"There's also the minor issue that you're still hung up on someone else," Loki said pointedly, making Thor startle.

"I... What?" he laughed, strained. "No, I'm not. Don't be ridiculous. That was years ago. You must just be projecting, thinking it's me when it's really you."

"Me?! That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

"Boys, boys," Jane said, holding her hands up. "You're both ridiculous. And you're both clearly still into each other. Even if last night hadn't happened, it's been... pretty obvious. Ian, how about showing them some of the rushes?"

So it had come to this. Gathering around a laptop to watch themselves sneaking glances at the other, not to mention the little touches. Had they really been touching that much? Surely it was just a trick of the light.

But there he was straightening Thor's tie as they tried on suits, Thor with his arm casually around his waist in the florist's, both of them leaning against each other while watching the dress parade, looking like a pair of sleepy ice bergs.

OK, maybe she had a point, but Loki wasn't going to be the first to admit it.

"You know, it's one of the most common comments we get," Jane said quietly. "That the bride would better off with the maid of honour or the groom with the best man. But this is the first time I've thought it myself."

A shared glance. A shared glance away.

"We broke up," Loki said. "You didn't want the confrontation and I couldn't stand that you didn't want to fight for what we had."

"I thought what we had didn't need to be fought over," Thor threw back. "I was happy and I thought you were happy too."

"I was happy, but that doesn't mean I was complacent. For a start, you never talked about anything that bothered you until it was too late to fix. You wouldn't even tell me if you were tired or annoyed at some little thing, but I knew something was wrong and I always thought it was me, my fault..."

"Do you mind if we record this?" Jane asked, snapping them out of it.

Loki moved out of the camera's shiny line of sight. He was pretty sure she was joking, but you couldn't be too careful.

"Don't think this means I'm trying to win you back," he said. "But if you don't want to get married then you shouldn't. I don't want you to make that mistake. But I'm not saying that out of any... romantic hope."

Thor finally looked at him properly, that arresting gaze, striding across the room to join him.

"You're right," he said, moving close. "I shouldn't do this. And you can absolutely interpret that as me trying to win you back. I hadn't realised until this week just how much I've missed you. Missed laughing with you. Missed kissing you."

Unfair! Foul play! With that voice rumbling near him, the heat of Thor's hand as he cupped his cheek, the questioning look at he leant in and then waited for Loki to close the gap.

Which he did, of course. He was weak. Couldn't help it.

Jane cursed under her breath that they hadn't caught it on camera.


	10. Confrontation

Loki was stunned. God, he'd forgotten how nice it was to kiss Thor. There was give and take, leaning and pushing, a sense of warmth and goodness. Was that because of how long they'd spent together? Their shared past? Maybe.

Or maybe he couldn't help but be flattered that Thor unabashedly wanted him back.

Maybe part of him had always kind of wanted to yell "I object!" at the pertinent part of a wedding ceremony.

Not that it was going to get that far.

It was a nervous ride over to Amora's place. Thor was trying to rehearse what he would say, but it kept coming out blunt. Then again, was there a polite way to tell the woman you had agreed to marry that you were calling it off? That you were leaving her for someone else?

Deep breaths. What could possibly go wrong? After all, they were just going to break a woman's heart on national television.

Oh, God, they were about to break a woman's heart on national television...

Jane got all the cameras set up in the car, hand-held, ready to capture every facet of pain. This was horrible. They were monsters. They were going to be crucified online and in the press. He could see the clickbait already.

_You Won't Believe How This Groom Betrays His Fiancee_

Oh, he felt sick.

They stepped out onto the perfectly manicured brick car park outside Amora's building, Thor rooting around in his pocket for the keys he had to let himself in.

"Do you want me here?" Loki asked quietly. "Or would you rather... You know. Be as alone as possible?"

"No," Thor sighed. "You're better at words than I am. It'll be good to have you there, in case I dry up. Might need you to save me."

Yes, because telling someone you're stealing their fiance always goes well...

No lift. They traipsed their way up staircase after staircase. Up and up and up... Of course she'd live on the top floor of a four-storey. Of course.

She probably ran up and down the stairs as a warm-up for her work outs. She seemed the type, somehow. Healthy. Using what was to hand. Trying to settle down with the nearest half-decent man even if they weren't well suited.

Loki hoped she'd take it well. Maybe she had her doubts too. He almost prayed.

His hand shot out to stop Thor just opening the door though.

"Knock first," he said. "What if she's in the shower or something and you're springing a camera on her? Let's not make this any worse than it already is. No barging in."

Thor nodded and inhaled deeply, filling his lungs so that his chest swelled, and rapped his knuckles on the door.

No response. Oh. Typical that they'd show up when she was out.

Thor tried again, louder. He'd built himself up for this and he wasn't about to let it go. Loki was pretty sure he could hear his own heartbeat in the silence afterwards.

But then the door opened. And unless something rather big had changed, the shirtless man standing just inside was not Amora.

For a few moments, they all stared at each other, confused. Wrong house? Surely even Thor wouldn't forget where his girlfriend lived.

"Who is it, sweetie?"

Amora's voice came from further back in the flat. Right place. Oh, God.

Oh, this was not happening...

"It's the guy you're supposed to be engaged to," Thor said, voice low and dangerous. "So the real question is who the hell is this?"

She came into view, only making the whole scene worse. Silky pyjamas beneath a hurriedly closed fluffy dressing gown, mussed hair, the faintest hint of pink on her cheeks. From embarrassment or exertion?

"Thor! What are you doing here? You're not supposed to see me before the wedding, you know that."

Was she seriously going to pretend the other guy wasn't there?

"How long has this been going on?" Thor asked quietly. He didn't seem angry as such, just upset.

Maybe it still hurt to be taken for a fool by someone he didn't love.

"It's not what you think."

"Isn't it? You just have half naked men in your flat as a matter of course?"

"He's just a friend."

Jane nudged Loki in the back, trying to get him to move out of the camera's way. He was sorely tempted to block it entirely, but then again this was making Thor look like less of an arsehole if he'd been cheated on... It was a difficult call. He stayed put, partially obscuring things, but not entirely.

"Why are you even here, Thor?" Amora asked sharply. Yes, fair point, they were the ones surprising her.

Thor couldn't meet her eyes. Whatever she might have done, this was a decision he had come to before he even knew about this.

"I... I actually came to apologise," he said. "I can't marry you. It wouldn't be right and I'm sorry. I love you as a dear friend, but I am not in love with you. And I don't think you're in love with me either. And since that would make this a mistake, I think we should call it off."

Wow. That was nearly eloquent. Especially considering the circumstances.

Amora was quiet, her bit on the side quietly extracting himself from the whole situation. She seemed genuinely stunned.

"I wish you all the best," Thor said. "And I hope you meet someone who will make you happy. I know I have."

A nudge in Loki's back from Jane. Was she seriously expecting him to step forward and tell the whole story?

Amora's perfect mouth had fallen open, hurt and shocked. You had to have some incredible nerve to manage that. Loki almost admired her for it.

"Someone... Someone else? You mean you're dumping me?" she stammered.

"No!" Thor said, apparently completely unaware that, yes, that was exactly what he was doing. "I'm just suggesting that we separate."

"Oh, for God's sake!" Loki snapped. "Yes, he's dumping you. You are controlling and jealous to the point that he didn't even feel able to tell you that he's bisexual, and you don't pay attention his opinion or his feelings, and the pair of you would be horrible together because you have fundamentally different values and that's not about to change. And, apparently, you're cheating on him. So, yes. He's dumping you."

She folded her arms, leaning against the door jamb. Like she couldn't care less. And maybe that was true.

"I think I've just found out who _someone else_ is," she said. "I was gone for, what? A week? You certainly didn't snooze on it."

"Hey," Thor said, firm but calm. "It's got nothing to do with him. Even if he hadn't agreed to give me another shot, I'd have come to this conclusion. This wedding is a mistake."

So, how many was that? Bisexual, ex-boyfriend he didn't mention - any other secret Thor wanted to air? It was obvious from Amora's expression that she'd put two and two together, sighing, brows crumpled. Loki knew that look. Damage control incoming.

"Alright," she said. "If that's what you want, fine. We could have been great together, but fine."

Loki scoffed.

"No, you couldn't," he said. "You don't have the first idea of each other. You think you'd cope with him leaving his socks under the couch for days? Or his ridiculous recycling routine? Or how he'll get a song stuck in his head for days and won't stop humming it? Yes, he's annoying as hell, but that's what a relationship is, it's getting over harmless little habits. It's not trying to beat them out of each other or sculpt the perfect spouse after you're married. There's give and take. And if you value what you have, you have to work at it."

He was suddenly aware of the camera focussing on his face, capturing his little lecture. Fuck.

But there was Thor over to the left, looking at him with so much affection, so much warmth. Even though he'd just been called annoying.

"I should never have let you go," he said, voice thick. "I should have fought for it. I'm sorry."

"So you should be," Loki sniffed.

Amora huffed and turned her attention to Jane.

"Do I at least get to keep the dress? Even if it's hideous, I could always sell it."

Practical even to the last.

She wasn't best pleased by Jane's answer that this unusual situation meant she'd really have to consult her producer to answer that question.


	11. An Overdue Discussion

"Do you really find my recycling annoying?" Thor asked, pulling up next to his building, apparently having stewed over that for the whole shell-shocked drive back.

"It's not the recycling itself," Loki said. "It's the soaking off of the labels and crushing the tins in just the right way and all that. But it's important to you. And good for the planet and so on. Besides, I probably annoyed the hell out of you all the time too."

Thor genuinely seemed to think about it, shrugging as he pulled the handbrake on.

"Nothing springing to mind right away."

Things were awkward now they were alone. No cameras. Nothing holding them back. No reason to hide.

Loki scurried around the kitchen like a mouse, wanting to crawl into a crack in the wall and stay there. They were going to have to talk. Decide about them, their future, what they were going to do. How they were going to proceed.

Or was it more of an if...?

Was he really ready to jump back into this? Into having Thor in his life? He'd missed him, yes. He'd missed waking up next to him, coming home to him, listening to him, talking to him. It had been good, hadn't it? Great, even. But maybe they'd needed a little time apart, a little time to grow.

But he knew Thor. Thor rushed. He'd expect them to resume where they'd left off, like the three intervening years had never happened. And then there was a risk of repeating the same old mistakes...

They sent out for pizza. And opened a bottle. No more imaginary worries about wedding weight.

"What you said today..." Thor said eventually, trailing off as he waited for a response.

"What about it?"

"I just... I suppose I didn't realise just how much you cared, that's all. When we were together."

Loki stared at him over a slice of Texas barbecue, the peppers threatening to fall off.

"How do you mean? Of course I did."

_I do. Still. For some reason._

"It's just... You never said."

Slice down before he stained the carpet. Gulp of wine. Sharp white, too dry for his tastes really but deliciously cold.

"What do you mean?"

"You never... You never seemed like you were happy half the time. You were just... Here. I was never sure if you were happy or not and so when you started talking about maybe not being together anymore, I thought I ought to let you go. I thought that was what you wanted and that because I loved you, I ought to set you free. I didn't realise you wanted me to fight for it."

They were dangerously close to being honest now.

"I don't feel the need to announce my emotions, that's all."

Thor smiled grimly, sucking sauce from his finger. Not in a sexy way. Or not deliberately.

"That's a funny way to say you're closed off, Lokes."

Oh, they were playing this game, were they?

"Alright, fine. I felt like you took me for granted," Loki said, wielding his words like weapons. "You never appreciated what I did. You were very comfortable. Like I was just always going to be around. All I wanted was to feel a little special sometimes. Romanced."

"You hate romance! You never liked going for dinner, you think candles are a fire hazard, you don't like flowers, we couldn't both fit in the bath..."

"I don't mean that, I mean... I don't know. Something to reassure me that I was more than a convenience to you."

Thor seemed genuinely hurt suddenly. Upset. He looked away, done with pithy responses for now.

"I'm... I'm sorry you felt that way. I'm sorry I made you feel like that. I was comfortable because I thought we both were."

Awkward pause. Awkward sips of wine.

"Can we try again?" Thor asked quietly, hopeful. "And I'll try to be better. I'll try to help you remember how special you are."

Loki's heart thudded, his eyes prickling slightly.

"It wasn't just you. I'll... I'll try to be better too. Try to actually say what I mean more often. I can hardly blame you for not picking up on messages that I'm not really sending."

"Is that a yes, then? To giving it another shot?"

Think it through. Tread carefully. Be cautious.

Then again, where was the harm in one more try?

"Yes. I suppose it is."

The relief was palpable, even mixed with Thor's nerves as he leant closer, tucking Loki's hair behind his ear.

"Can I?" he breathed.

Loki closed the distance and brought their lips together, quickly becoming something messier, more heated. Garlicky, cheesy, sweet barbecue sauce and the vague taste of Thor beneath it. Mm. Still good. But Loki was in no rush to go further. Not just yet anyway.

He ended up lounging half in Thor's lap, his wine rapidly warming in his hand, feet dangling off the edge of the couch. And it felt... good. Safe. Right, somehow. Almost like he'd never left the sanctuary of Thor's arms.

"I think I've figured out what annoys me about you," Thor murmured into his hair.

"Hmm? And what's that?"

"You hide dirty cups. You leave them on windowsills behind the curtains and under the bed and down the side of the couch and then only I find them when they're developing intelligent life in their mould forests."

Loki blinked at the wall for moment. Wow, Thor. That sure was making a guy feel special. Why not mention spores, really heat things up?

"I thought you were going to say something like 'too sexy' or 'way out of your league'."

"Both true, but those don't annoy me."

Oh, he thought he was so smooth...

It was difficult to remember not to find that charming.

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" Loki asked, closing his eyes, wanting to hide away for shame of asking.

"Do you mean actual sleeping or sex?"

"Definitely the first one. Maybe the second. Depends how much you feel like telling me I'm pretty..."

Thor's hands ran up his stomach, warm even through his shirt and then slipped beneath it. Not groping. Just feeling. Exploring and appreciating leisurely.

Mmm... Challenge accepted perhaps.


	12. Unplanned but Nice

Thor's bed had improved. Which was a weird thing to notice, probably.

"New mattress?" Loki asked, bouncing on it a little.

"Oh. Yeah. Amora hated my old one."

"Hey, I hated it too. You never bought a new one for me."

"I couldn't afford it back then. They're really expensive."

Fair point. And who was reaping the rewards of it? Not her.

Loki lounged back, stretching out, enjoying the way Thor's eyes roamed over him. It had been a while since he'd felt so shamelessly wanted.

"Come on, then. Seduce me. You used to be good at it."

"No, I didn't. You were the sexy one. Always dancing and winking and doing that thing where you run your finger up the side of a glass. And rolling your sleeves up. Used to drive me crazy."

"You do realise you're just giving me further ammunition, right? Any time I want to distract you, get the old forearms out..."

Thor growled playfully, ridiculously, and Loki found himself giggling, reaching up to catch him by the wrists and pull him down beside him.

Long, slow, exploring kisses. Yes, they were going to have quite the morning breath in a few hours, but that was the future's problem. Live a little. Live dangerously.

Loki knew he was being both greedy and needy, hands roaming all over Thor's back and shoving their way down beneath his jeans, seeing what had changed and what hadn't. Same broad shoulders, slightly softer waist - probably longer working hours cutting into gym time - same warm skin, same big hands.

Kissing and touching were one thing, peeling Thor's shirt off and seeing was quite another. The nearest he'd got over the last week or so were a brief, mortified glimpses of him after showering, a split second of blurry peach skin emerging out of a fluffy towel and then minutes of embarrassment. But now he could look. Now it was allowed. Expected, even.

So Loki looked, tearing off his own shirt almost as an afterthought, trying to throw it onto the floor but getting the edge of the laundry basket instead - and since when had Thor actually used one of those?

Not that he had much time to wonder because Thor was on him like a man starved.

It had been ages since Loki had felt desired like this. Sure, he'd had a few short-lived relationships, barely worth using the word for, but even when the sex was good and fun, it wasn't like this.

Maybe it really was their history. Those years of knowing one another intimately. It was so familiar, odd little things coming back to him. The way Thor's nails felt through denim, the way he sighed when his neck was kissed, how he was always careful not to put his weight down even though it made him practically shake with the effort...

And the moment when he did lean down and let Loki take some of it... It was hardly his favourite part - that came later and tended to be a lot more sweaty - but it was up there, high on the list. The heft, the friction, the way it proved that Loki was physically strong enough to bear it, mentally and spiritually strong enough too.

Mmm...

"Shit..." Thor murmured against his lips, flies half undone.

"What? What is it?"

"Just remembered I don't have any lube."

A blink and then Loki was half scrambling out of his grasp.

"Who said anything about needing any?" he asked, breathlessness taking some of the heat out. 

Thor's eyes were bright, face tinged red, smiling bashfully.

"Well, I was hoping maybe..."

"Maybe what, Thor?"

He could damn well say it out loud.

"Maybe you'd fuck me?"

Ah... 

Well... 

Perhaps that wasn't quite what he'd expected to hear.

"But you're right," Thor said, leaning in to kiss him gently. "We don't need it. I'm sure we'll find other stuff to do instead."

Maybe it was better this way. Slow. Slow-ish. More kissing, more touching, a long, slow slide towards nudity. Shuffling out of jeans, tearing off of socks, gentle removal of underwear to leave them skin to skin, warm and soft.

Not entirely soft, of course.

The simultaneous gasp as their cocks brushed together was sweeter than Loki could possibly have imagined. Unplanned, no conscious decision by either of them. A little shift and they were grinding more deliberately, Loki trying to hook a leg around Thor's thigh, using his flesh to rub against and chase that feeling.

They were tangled, limbs everywhere, hands too, stroking and feeling, touching.

It was like they were young again. Back when they'd been just starting out, young and stupid. Before they'd even met. Fooling around, not sure what they were doing.

Better though because somewhere beneath the instinct, there was a hint of skill. Or memory. Or... something anyway.

Or maybe it was rediscovering that they could be comfortable and safe together. Held close, Thor's heavy breathing and little moans by his ear, clinging onto his back. As close as it was possible to be.

Making Thor come had always made Loki feel powerful somehow. Making anyone come really, but especially Thor. Knowing he had done that. His body, his ability.

And Thor sliding down the bed immediately afterwards to suck him off was very nice indeed too, even if he had already been most of the way there. It was the enthusiasm, the heat, the way he clutched at Loki's hips greedily that really made it.

Alright, maybe he'd missed that quite a lot. All of it.

But not quite as much as he'd missed falling asleep in Thor's arms.


	13. One More Hurdle

How had time gone backwards? How was he waking up in a bed that hadn't been his in years? And why wasn't Thor here for morning cuddles?

Ah, because he was making tea.

"Morning. Milk, no sugar."

"Mm..."

The bed dipped as Thor perched on the end out it, waiting for Loki to sit up and hold out his hands for the cup. Handle first, so he wouldn't burn himself. Always considerate.

"Thanks."

Thor smiled, but slightly sheepishly. Oh, dear. That was never a good sign.

For a mad moment, Loki feared he was having second thoughts. That he'd decided this was a bad idea. He didn't want to try again.

But no.

It was somehow worse.

"So Jane called me. And she wants to film the, er... Well, the fallout, I suppose. With Amora. She's already agreed to it."

Loki sipped his tea, trying not to look terrified. She wanted to put the pair of them and Amora in a room together? And who else? Sif and Lorelei? Their parents?

Oh, God, Thor's parents...

"Have you called your folks yet?"

"I... may have agreed to do that on speaker phone. On camera."

Loki at least had the politeness to drain his cup before flopping back on the bed in what might have been a slightly overdramatic fashion.

"You're too soft a touch, you know that? You should have said no."

"I know, but... Well, I did rather put a spanner in the works of the show which could potentially get her into trouble and she's been really good about that and I think I owe Amora for putting her through all this..."

"She cheated on you."

Thor paused, thoughtful.

"Yeah, but I didn't know that until I had already decided to call things off. We're both in the wrong. I'd already kissed you, for one thing. Morally, I'm not sure I have a leg to stand on."

He wasn't going to be talked out of it, that much was obvious. Typical Thor. He liked to share out the blame. Which sometimes was his attempt at making things better by making someone else feel like things weren't all their fault and sometimes it served to lessen his own culpability. Not consciously, of course. But effectively.

Well, Loki was going to dress for the occasion. Not in the full suit, but in the tailored shirt anyway, showing off to his best advantage. Looking good. Not sheepish. He'd done nothing wrong and he had no intention of looking guilty.

And it seemed that Amora had had the very same idea.

She had shown up looking her very best, a sleek black suit with lime green accents. It shouldn't have worked, but it really did, setting off her skin and hair, and especially her eyes. She was beautiful and she knew it and had shrugged off losing her fiance, no problem at all.

Of course, Jane made Thor sit between the two of them on the couch. In another world, this would probably be some kind of fantasy for him. As it was, he looked like he was afraid of being eaten alive.

"So, Thor," Jane said, not hiding her glee particularly well. "How does it feel to be between your former and no longer ex and your new ex, your former fiancee?"

"Not great. I've not treated either of them particularly well, I fear."

"Can you answer in a..."

"Yeah, a sentence, I know..."

They did their best. Amora had no regrets, it seemed. She hated the dress for one thing when she tried it on for the camera. The neckline was all wrong, she announced. It made her look frumpy. She couldn't imagine anyone who might want to buy it from her.

Even with his inexpert eye, Loki felt she could wear a potato sack and still never achieve frump. But maybe she perceived herself differently.

Or maybe he'd just worn the dress better, of course.

"I can't believe you lied to me every day we were together," she said once she was dressed in her own clothes again, carefully blinking back tears. Real ones? Maybe.

"I did not!" Thor protested.

"Withholding pertinent information would still put you in contempt of court," she snipped. "You kept your sexuality hidden from me."

Maybe she had something of a point, Loki thought, as Thor launched into his defence that he had chosen a person and that therefore everyone else was irrelevant.

" _He_ knew the truth from the start when you dated him."

Oh, Loki was not a fan of the way he was just a pronoun now. And there were lots of things he could say, lots of things swirling through his brain. Things about being jealous. Things about projecting one's own infidelity onto one's partner. Things about being controlling and abusive.

But he wouldn't. He'd been given the role of fiance-stealing hussy against his will and might as well play it quietly.

"Did you ever really love me?" Amora asked tearfully.

How exactly was she managing to play the wronged party here when they'd practically caught her in the act of sleeping with someone else? And how could he learn to achieve that level of brazen?

"Of course I did," Thor said, voice dropping low, into the syrup zone. "But maybe I wasn't really in love with you. I don't think I was ever really the right person for you."

She sighed very prettily, hands on her knees for a moment before carefully removing the engagement ring and its offensively non-yellow diamond.

"Maybe, deep down, I knew that," she said, dabbing her eyes. "Maybe that's why I did what I did."

"By 'what you did', you mean cheating though, right?" Loki asked. Couldn't help himself.

She gave him the briefest of glares, like he wasn't worth the effort of a full one.

"I wish you both all the happiness you deserve," she said, not mentioning how much that was, Loki noticed. "And you can keep... everything."

The ring made a pleasingly crisp sound against Thor's coffee table.

"Goodbye, Thor," she said, kissing him softly on the cheek.

Yeah... She knew exactly what she was doing as she swept out. Nothing more to say. Nothing else to add. And she did it well. Such poise and elegance.

Maybe Loki was a little annoyed by Thor's sigh, but he tried to rationalise it. A break up was still a break up after all. Even if the relationship wasn't that great, there'd still be an ache.

"So, Thor," Jane said gently, not wanting to strain the atmosphere. "You and Loki are back together. What do you intend to do now?"

"Um... I mean... Loki and me are back together now, but there's still the venue and the suits and the cake and the flowers. I'd hate for all that to be wasted."

Where was he going with this?

Oh, God, was he going down on one knee? What? What?! Stop this nonsense!

"Loki... Would you like to get married? To me?"

Looking into that face, so hopeful, so open, Loki had to swallow hard and try to ground himself before replying, holding on tightly to the edge of the couch as he tried to get right words to come out in the right order...

"Thor... Have you completely and utterly lost your mind?"


	14. Answers

"Is that a no?" Thor asked.

"Of course it's a no! We can't just get married. I'd have to call my family, you'd have to call your family, I'd have to get my own best person, and that's apart from the fact that it's been years since we were together! What if we try again for three days and it doesn't work? You need to think about these things..."

He caught the smile several seconds too late. Thor was grinning at him. He'd been kidding. Of course he had. Obviously he had. Not even Thor would rush that much.

"I hate you sometimes."

"Really?"

Loki huffed and folded his arms.

"No..."

Even if he was highly aggravating.

"We should give it to someone else," Thor said. "All of it. A fancy venue for someone who couldn't get one big enough to get all their guests in, expensive dress to someone who wants it. I might keep the cake, I suppose..."

That did seem like a good idea. Even if it was short notice, someone would want them. Jane would have to call the producer for permission, but imagine the good publicity for the show, the altruism...

And that just left calling Thor's parents. Or, more accurately, his mother. She seemed to have been the one most opposed to the wedding.

Though, of course, his father picked up.

Loki had never been convinced that Odin liked him. Thor said it was just his way, that he wasn't one to show affection easily. Being gruff was just how he was. But it had been another little thing that had made him unsure in the relationship.

"Hi, Dad," Thor said into his phone, laid on the table. "Can you get Mum and put the phone on speaker? I have something really important to tell you both."

Could he have worded that in a more ominous way? There were shuffling sounds, the muffled noise of Odin calling to Frigga, a barely audible discussion of whether there even was a speaker phone button on this thing, and then there was Frigga's voice greeting them cautiously.

"What is it, sweetheart? Is everything alright?"

"I, er... I think so. It's just... I'm not going to get married anymore."

Understandably, there was stunned silence from the other line. It was quite a shock, no doubt.

"What happened?" Frigga asked after what seemed like a full minute almost.

"I called it off. You were right, it was rushed. And I... I realised that wasn't really what I wanted."

He looked at Loki with the hint of a smile around his lips, moving a little closer on the couch.

Neutral. No reaction. Or that's what Loki told himself, even as he could feel his cheeks heating up. He was probably pink as a fresh-cut grapefruit right now.

"Remember I told you Loki was going to be my best man? Well, actually... We're going to try again. With a relationship."

Their happiness at the news was reassuring at least. Even Odin wished them good luck, told them he was happy for them.

They had had a good thing and they'd thrown it away. And now they had another chance. How many people got that?

Jane coughed lightly from behind the camera after they hung up, looking a little embarrassed.

"Would you... uh... Would you mind kissing on camera? Sort of a happy ending shot, you know?"

The ultimate public display of affection. It was going to be awkward, to say the least. Thor turned to him, a strange smile on his face, a sure sign that he was trying not to giggle.

"Stop it," Loki said softly. "You'll set me off."

Which, of course, was what happened. Every time they leant close, one or other of them would lose it. The whole situation was so ridiculous, so fake. Manufactured.

Eventually, Loki just lunged and went for it. He could feel the vibration of Thor's laughter against his lips, his arms slipping around him, warm and happy and silly.

How things used to be, but now with greater understanding.

And maybe he didn't even mind if people saw that Thor didn't let go of him after they broke apart, or even after Jane called cut, keeping his arm around Loki's waist as the crew packed up and finally - finally! - left them in peace.

Loki flopped onto the futon, still out though he hadn't used it last night, feeling like he could finally let some tension out of his body. The last few days had been stressful and exhausting and even the thought of having to relive it when he had to tell people what had happened seemed knackering.

Thor looked at him, head tilted, fond.

"What should we do today then?" he asked. "Whole afternoon is our oyster."

Loki regarded him suspiciously.

"What were you thinking?"

Thor shrugged.

"Whatever you want. Go to the park, get some fresh air. Pictures maybe. Hang out here, watch some TV. Pamper ourselves. I have footscrub."

Hmm... It wouldn't be the first time Thor had used something like a back rub to segue into other activities - not that Loki minded really, though equally he wasn't exactly in an amorous mood given the morning's events.

But maybe this was Thor's attempt at romance. It wouldn't do to discourage him...

When they went to bed, feet newly softened and shoulders distinctly looser after a day of just chilling out with no other agenda, Loki felt far more confident about the future. Yes, he'd have to go back to his own flat soon... but not just yet.

For now, he could sleep in the old days. The new old days.


	15. Happy Endings

Loki sees the flicker of recognition from time to time. People vaguely thinking they know him but being unable to tell where from. It's in people walking down the street, shop assistants, fellow commuters on the train.

Of course, if Thor is with him, they generally put things together quite quickly. And then usually either glance away, leaving them to their privacy, or tell them how happy they are that they're still together. How many years has it been now?

Thor would always grin and say "Not nearly enough."

It was odd, watching the episode. The increasingly exasperated voice-over artist narrating what were probably Jane's thoughts, the sections that showed what Amora had been doing with the bridesmaids while they were trying on dresses, the reveals of what had been done with the venue and everything else was, how happy those strangers were with them. The venue went to a couple who had struggled with accessibility for their child and were thrilled not to have to organise specialist transport between their wedding and reception locations. The dress was given to a woman who had lost hers in a house fire. The flowers were sent to local nursing homes as table decorations. All worthy, lovely things.

And, of course, there was themselves, their portrayal on screen. Loki couldn't help watching his own expressions. Had he really looked that sour? That tense all the time? Had Thor really looked that stressed? And then the contrast at the end, the pair of them giggling together, not a care in the world.

Sif liked to text when it was being repeated, partially to make them groan but also to warn them that the confused looks were about to increase. She had some kind of recording alert set up for it on her TV. Apparently it amused her immensely.

People did seem glad to know they were still together. Not as glad as Loki was himself, of course.

Yes, effort was needed. But nice effort. Effort he was happy to put in, smiling whenever he retrieved a forgotten mug at having successfully avoided Thor's one avowed issue. And Thor tried too, he could tell. It was in the little things. The way he shared in all of Loki's little work triumphs and validated his feelings, even when he kind of knew he was being petty, and was gentle when suggesting that maybe things could be looked at another way.

He made manager and the welcome boost in income meant that together he and Thor could afford the rent of a slightly bigger and nicer place. The old flat had a few too many bad memories for Loki to want to move back in. New start together. New place.

And, yes, sometimes Loki was still banished from the living room and had to pretend he couldn't hear bad strumming and amateur pick work by Thor's guitar students. He didn't mind too much. Sometimes it did him good to have a half hour by himself without making Thor feel like his company was burden.

Sometimes he wondered how he'd ever thought to give this up. But then again, maybe they hadn't been mature enough the first time round. Not ready to settle down.

Not that there was much settling going on when Thor was around, down or otherwise. He believed variety was not so much the spice of life as vital to survive, even if said variety some days only stretched as far as trying out a different kind of bread ("But look, it's _enriched!"_ ) or getting the pine scented bathroom cleaner instead of lemon ("It's outdoorsy, it's a nice change.")

"You know," Loki said thoughtfully one night after Thor had been genuinely thrilled to learn about the existence of silicon cake moulds. "Sometimes I think you're more excited about food than you are about me."

A shameless ploy, but one that worked. He was a little too big for Thor to sweep off his feet properly, but that didn't mean he didn't try, even as Loki squealed and giggled and demanded to be put down.

Enthusiasm didn't always come naturally to Loki, but being around someone so in love with the world and all its wonders couldn't help but rub off on him a little. And, yes, sometimes it made him worried or confused about why he would appeal, cynic and pessimist that he too often was.

His fears were put to rest in the winter, nearly two years after they'd moved back in together. They'd gone to Thor's parents' house for the festive period, and Loki found himself wrapped in a blanket in a pleasantly overstuffed armchair, watching as Thor and Odin shovelled snow out of the driveway, chatting companionably.

The scent of spice and chocolate wafted over him and then Frigga's smiling face appeared, handing him one of two mugs she'd carried through from the kitchen. Loki was still a little shy of her, a little unsure.

"Little winter warmer," she said. "We need it in this weather."

"Thank you."

The silence felt very awkward to him, sipping desperately, catching cinnamon and nutmeg and...

"Is there Amaretto in this?"

She drew her finger to her lips, giggling in her refined way, like Betty in The Flintstones.

"You know, I'm so glad you're here with us this year," she said. "It's so good seeing you and Thor together. You make him very happy."

Thor's mum. It's fine, it's just Thor's mum. She's not scary at all.

"He makes me happy too."

It was true. It wasn't always explosions of confetti, but a general underlying background happiness. Getting to go home after a long day, talking about whatever nonsense he wanted, just being together as they did their own thing.

"You saved him from making a terrible mistake," Frigga said. "Do you know that girl told me she hated the spare room to my face? She said it was too cluttered and old-fashioned. At least save that till when I'm out of earshot. That's just good manners..."

By the time Thor and Odin came in, pink-cheeked and huffing from exertion, they were thick as thieves. She'd been telling him stories from Thor's childhood that he was definitely going to seek more detail on later and he'd been asking a dozen variations of "has he always done this?"

"They're conspiring against us," Odin said, maybe only half joking.

"Conspiring to get more hot chocolate," Frigga retorted, leaving Thor and Loki alone for a moment.

"It's good to see you getting on," Thor said quietly.

Loki smiled, reluctantly getting out of his blanket.

"She helped me relax a bit," he said.

"Amaretto hot chocolate?"

"Shh... You're not supposed to know."

In theory, there was nothing particularly special about the kiss Thor laid on his lips. Brief, chaste, sweet... But something about it made Loki certain they'd made the right choice.

Maybe one of these days, he'd ask Thor if he wanted to make it more official.

After all, he already had Frigga's blessing.


End file.
